\u015eiddet denildi\u011finde \u00e7o\u011fu insan\u0131n akl\u0131na fiziksel zarar gelir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u015fiddeti, \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclebilen ve g\u00f6zle g\u00f6r\u00fclebilen bir etki \u00fczerinden tan\u0131mlamaya al\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131zd\u0131r. Oysa zarar vermek yaln\u0131zca bedene y\u00f6nelmez. \u0130nsan\u0131n duygu d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131, benlik alg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ve kendine olan g\u00fcvenini zedeleyen davran\u0131\u015flar da \u015fiddetin bir par\u00e7as\u0131d\u0131r. Psikolojik \u015fiddet tam da bu noktada g\u00f6r\u00fcnmezli\u011fiyle var olur; hissedilir ama kolay adland\u0131r\u0131lamaz. Bu y\u00fczden \u00e7o\u011fu zaman fark edilmez ve normalle\u015fir.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
G\u00f6rmezden gelinmek, s\u00fcrekli ele\u015ftirilmek, de\u011fersiz hissettirilmek, kararlar\u0131n\u0131n sorgulanmas\u0131, duygular\u0131n\u0131n hafife al\u0131nmas\u0131\u2026 Bunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7biri tek ba\u015f\u0131na \u015fiddet gibi durmaz. Ancak tekrarland\u0131k\u00e7a insan\u0131n i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda derin \u00e7atlaklar a\u00e7ar. Ki\u015fi bir s\u00fcre sonra ne ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fil, bunu ya\u015famas\u0131n\u0131n \u201cnormal\u201d olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sorgulamaya ba\u015flar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Psikolojik \u015fiddet yaln\u0131zca s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerle var olmaz. Kontrol etmek, y\u00f6nlendirmek, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 belirsizle\u015ftirmek, sessizlikle cezaland\u0131rmak da onun dilidir. \u0130nsan zamanla kendi alan\u0131ndan \u00e7ekilir. \u00d6nce daha az konu\u015fur, sonra daha az ister, en sonunda da kendisi olmaktan vazge\u00e7er. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fi \u015fey \u015fudur: Rahats\u0131zl\u0131k dile getirilirse sorun \u00e7\u0131kar, susulursa d\u00fczen korunur.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bu \u015fiddet en \u00e7ok yak\u0131n ili\u015fkilerde g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr olur. G\u00fcvenin oldu\u011fu yerde incinmek daha sessiz ya\u015fan\u0131r. Aile i\u00e7inde, ili\u015fkilerde, arkada\u015fl\u0131klarda, i\u015f hayat\u0131nda\u2026 \u201cSenin iyili\u011fin i\u00e7in\u201d denilen c\u00fcmleler \u00e7o\u011fu zaman sorgulanmaz. Ki\u015fi bir s\u00fcre sonra ne hissetti\u011fini de\u011fil, ne hissetmesi gerekti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flar. Kendi i\u00e7 sesi yava\u015f yava\u015f k\u0131s\u0131l\u0131r.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Sevgili okurlar,<\/p>\n
Psikolojik \u015fiddetin en a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck\u00fc, insan\u0131n kendi ger\u00e7ekli\u011finden \u015f\u00fcphe etmesine neden olmas\u0131d\u0131r. Ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmser, hislerini sorgular, kendini s\u00fcrekli a\u00e7\u0131klamak zorunda hisseder. D\u0131\u015far\u0131dan bak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda her \u015fey yolunda gibidir; ama i\u00e7eride derin bir yorgunluk birikir. Bu yorgunluk zamanla hayata kar\u015f\u0131 isteksizli\u011fe, i\u00e7e kapanmaya ve de\u011fersizlik duygusuna d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir. Ve \u00e7o\u011fu zaman kimse fark etmez; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ortada g\u00f6sterilecek bir yara yoktur.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bu \u015fiddeti uygulayanlar\u0131n hepsi bunu bilerek yapmaz. Kimi insanlar kendi do\u011frular\u0131n\u0131 merkeze al\u0131r, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakinin duygusal d\u00fcnyas\u0131na bakmay\u0131 ihmal eder. Empatinin eksildi\u011fi yerde incitmek s\u0131radanla\u015f\u0131r. S\u00fcrekli d\u00fczeltmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak, ele\u015ftirmek, y\u00f6n vermek; sevgiyle kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bile kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131n nefesini daraltabilir.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Psikolojik \u015fiddet, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman insan\u0131n kendine yabanc\u0131la\u015fmas\u0131yla sonu\u00e7lan\u0131r. S\u00fcrekli g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmas\u0131 beklenen, k\u0131r\u0131lganl\u0131\u011f\u0131na alan tan\u0131nmayan, duygular\u0131 y\u00fck gibi g\u00f6r\u00fclen ki\u015fi; zamanla kendi ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 bast\u0131rmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenir. Ne istedi\u011fini s\u00f6ylemek yerine susmay\u0131, incindi\u011fini dile getirmek yerine katlanmay\u0131 se\u00e7er. B\u00f6ylece \u015fiddet, yaln\u0131zca d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan gelen bir etki olmaktan \u00e7\u0131kar; insan\u0131n i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda s\u00fcren bir sessizli\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Kendini korumak, \u00f6nce ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015feyin ad\u0131n\u0131 koyabilmekle ba\u015flar. Her ba\u011f insan\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fctmez; baz\u0131lar\u0131 sadece tutar, baz\u0131lar\u0131 yorar, baz\u0131lar\u0131 da sessizce t\u00fcketir. Rahats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 fark etti\u011fin yerde durup d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek, ard\u0131ndan s\u0131n\u0131r \u00e7izebilmek ve gerekirse o yerden uzakla\u015fabilmek; bir ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f de\u011fil, kendine sad\u0131k kalmakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Psikolojik \u015fiddet konu\u015fulmad\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez kal\u0131r. G\u00f6r\u00fcnmez kald\u0131k\u00e7a s\u0131radanla\u015f\u0131r. Oysa insan ruhu sessizce k\u0131r\u0131lmay\u0131 hak etmez. Anla\u015f\u0131lmak, g\u00f6r\u00fclmek ve oldu\u011fu h\u00e2liyle kabul edilmek bir l\u00fcks de\u011fil, insanca bir ihtiya\u00e7t\u0131r.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bazen durup kendimize sormam\u0131z gerekir:<\/p>\n
Bu hayat\u0131n i\u00e7inde ben, kendim olarak kalabildim mi?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
E\u011fer bu soru i\u00e7imizi ac\u0131t\u0131yorsa, orada ad\u0131 konmam\u0131\u015f bir yara vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Baz\u0131 yaralar vard\u0131r; insan onlar\u0131 anlatmaz, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc nas\u0131l anlataca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmez. Ne zaman ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlamaz, ne zaman derinle\u015fti\u011fini fark etmez. Sadece bir g\u00fcn aynaya bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda eskisi gibi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hisseder. Psikolojik \u015fiddet tam da b\u00f6yle ba\u015flar. Sessizdir. Acele etmez. \u0130nsan\u0131 bir anda de\u011fil, yava\u015f yava\u015f eksiltir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":111808,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-yazarlar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=111795"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":111796,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111795\/revisions\/111796"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/111808"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=111795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=111795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mardinhaberyolu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=111795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}